Final answer..

Finally I have the answer... You is still the one who trapped in my heart... Is it a good news?? Not really but I quite happy with it... I hope there is someone can replace you... Since there is no one so I don't mind you keep trapped here..(^.^) Basically I already used to it... To miss you every moment when you told me to do so previously... Seriously is really hard to forget someone who is so important in your life... You will be the one who will suddenly pops up and support me when I was really down and lost control... Thanks for helping me without I telling anything... **Hey you really quite good in observe.. =D**
I don't know how long this feeling will stay but start from today whenever I miss you I will write a letter for you... I wanted to know how long this feeling will stay in this coming year... Since it has been one year from the day I know you start tomorrow...

**This is the promise to myself : If I still can't manage to bring you out from my heart during next year Christmas... Maybe I will tell you everything...**

Anyways New Year is coming... Welcome 2013... :p

Another game start??

Last December is the month that I know you.... Which is also the month everything begin... We use to be so close at that moment but now I feel that we already far apart... For me like what I had said "everything that passed just let it be because life still have to go on"... From that day I tried to control myself about my feelings towards you but I failed.... So I face that feeling and admit that "I love you"... But now things seems change... Recently there is someone that bring me another strange feeling like you gave me.... I really hope that this is just an illusion because I don't want to face the same situation again and again... It's enough I am despair for it.... My heart is not that strong to accept but like what my friend had told me "We can't predict the future"... So now my mindset was let it be how it suppose to be... If god wanna prank me again and again... I just have to accept it because this is my life...

*But still I hope this is an illusion... We are just friend... :)*                                

The ends will never ends...

Is already been few month from I say want to forget everything about you.... I these month I tried to stop contact with you but still I can't hold myself from doing that... Recently I keep thinking that if that time someone didn't stop me while I wanted to tell you the truth maybe something will change... I lost the chance to tell you that day makes me keep this secret inside my heart till today... I was wondering why would I falling into this "trap" again and again... This is really hurt but never wakes me up... I had a dream about you few days ago... In the dream we are very close and makes me feels like you are just belongs to me...this is the happiest moment ever... I know it was just a dream and won't happen but at that moment I really hope that I won't wake up forever... I am very selfish because I really hope that you are just belongs to me... Anyways the reality is cruel.... You may belongs to anyone but not me... I know is hard for you but please do believe that I love you more than anything else in this world.... I think you are going to stay in my heart until there is someone else that can move you away.... Today I shout out everything because I don't want keep avoid this feeling again.... I love you... Is true and always do... <3

*I feel great now.. Finally can face it with my real feeling* :D

Problems is always here...

Everyone in this world seems is going to face problems always since the day we born... My questions is does the problems come by itself or we find the "problems" by our own?? Sometimes when you notice that your friend is whispering behind of you and when the time you look them and ask about the stuff that they whispering they will always say nothing.... This is mostly because they doesn't want you know about it... Sometimes don't know is also a kind happiness... Let's see if they are talking something bad about you and you found out... What can you do with it?? Shout at them and have another fight?? Hey, please wake up guys... You thought we still young around teenagers age?? No... We no longer teenagers... We now growing as an adults.... All this adult life is making us become a hypocrite... That's what our life should be....

Empty heart..

Since I leave you I fell that my heart start to became empty... Because there is nothing in it anymore.... So the only things that I can do now is stay strong and face my studies as you said is the time for us to fight and choose the right way that we really want... I have to put all my studies in my heart but is really hard to stay focus... Maybe all of you thought I just pretend but I really tried before... Hope there is one day that I can filled my heart with something else or someone else perhaps.....

*Hoping that the day will come*.. 

The End.. = )

I finally found that everything that related to you is over... Today is the end of everything except our friendship...  The truth is I will still love you and be the one who always care about you like what I always do but this time is at a position as a friend.. Today is the best day ever because I can finally put my feeling towards you down.. You won't know that in the "memo" in my mobile phone is all the notes about you... I have been thinking and miss you all the time... Since today this not going  to happen again... As what I said you will always be a special friend for me and someone who still took an important part of my heart as a friend..... : )

*My Dear Friend I love You*

Leadership Camp in Bukit Mertajam (16/7/2012-18/7/2012)

           Is a really nice camp which I make a lot of friends there.... Every activities there is fun... It trains me stronger than before... It makes me feel great when you can work cooperative to someone that should be stranger to you.. It told me that " I have grown up".... Really hopes that going to attend this kind of camp again... I really like the moment in new life....

 we call this orienteering.. which makes us pening.. xD

 Grouping in midnight for Ice breaking...

 My group..(Kumpulan 4)

Supper in camp..

Life in 6 RK 1 (PRE -U)

           Form 6 life is not easy... There is many programs that we need to follow and participate and as usual homework is also more harder than form 5.. I think this is what PRE- U means (=.=") but anyways is a new challenge for me...  I will handle it no matter how hard it will be... These are some picture about my PRE - U life.....

In Adelyne's car while going Dewan Sri Pinang for a program...

Painter of the day... xp

Go green!!!

Auto count program...

Hope there are more and more fun activities that waiting for us in future......

The time not enough or I really can't forget??

I thought I have forget about you until the day that I dream about you for few days... Why always whenever I haven't think of you for and I thought I have forgot you you will pops up??? I want to ignore you but I can't do that cause I really care about you.... Every things that you tell me also will make my emotion change... Just like last time....  Does the time that I used not enough or I should stop contact you??? It's also hard for me to find someone to share... Most of my friend though I had put you down.....

First holidays after I get back to school life....

School life for me now is full of "challenge" on the other words is homework.... I know now is the time for me to fight so I won't be lazy like passed year anymore... This is the promise that I make to myself.... I won't let my family down again..... This holidays have somethings that make me miss Yea.... Miss the time that we work together.... Miss everyone who works in Yea before.... Our relation not like normal colleagues but more near to family.... If there is a chance I hope can get back to that kind of environment again....

Transfer or stay??

I am facing a problem now..... Should I transfer my studies to MBS or continue stay at Munshi??? I really confused.. I have more friends in MBS compared in Munshi.... But now is not about the friends... Is my future... I heard a lot from them which say MBS teacher won't really care of students because their amount of student is too much...  On the other hand our seniors told us that actually is the same is just see the method of how you study.... Someone have to study in the environment which have some pressure (MBS) and someone need to concentrate in their studies in silence mood (Munshi).... That is the different between MBS and Munshi.... Because the amount of student in Munshi is lesser than MBS.....  The main point is now I don't know I should transfer or stay......

I don't know....

Are you serious towards me??? Or you just another one who just fooling me??? I don't really dare to pass my heart to you cause I don't really trust you .... That is the reason why I told you we need some time to understand each other more before we walk closer.... I really scared to fail again.... If this is another game I don't think I want to play it again.... The feeling that you gave me is you are just playing.... If you really just want to play I am sorry please find others because I don't really have the effort anymore....

Finally I quit from Yea....

Finally the day had came I have leave Yea... I think I will miss everyone there......  Finally I can have a rest before my school reopen... I know someone recently... Who is quite close to me now... But I don't hope there is any improvement of our relationship... Cause I am not ready....

School life.... I am coming back very soon...

Form 6 class going to start soon but I still haven't buy my school uniform.... I still working in Yea although I keep saying that I want to quit.... I don't know I will work until when maybe until the day that I cant stand it???? Now days I can't find my limit towards everything..... This job have make me lost my own self..... I turning into a hypocrite now.. Always wearing a mask all the time.... Just recently I found that this mask is starting to stick on my face.... I need to find a way to take it off.....

Full time job for me is over.... Now I am a part timer....

Is going to the end of the April soon..... Can't believe I had work in Yea for four months.... Is really not is short period of time..... I quite proud of myself cause manage to stand so long in this company.... Truly from my heart I really learn a lot of things here..... I gain many experience in communicate, leadership, and most important is to control my temper.... During working no matter how you angry, sad or bad mood you just have to hold back because everyone that be with me at working doesn't owe me...... They are innocent.... For customer they pay for their meals so don't expect they will look at your "black face" if that happens means you will receive a complain....

Although, I still don't know what I going to do at future but I will try to do my best in every things......

Adults life~

Found out that adult is not easy to be..... Always facing a lot of problems which you need to settle by own... I prefer to become a child than an adults but time doesn't allow us to do that because time is always moving forwards and never return to the pass..... So for moving to and adults we just need to step in no matter what is going to happen next..... School life is the life that I miss the most is a lot of homework and projects but everything we just have to worry it in school even we didn't finish it teacher will just scold and punish and that's it for that day...... Since I start working I only found out how childish we are during school life..... I admit that my form 4 and form 5 is totally my honeymoon year especially form 4 always skipped class, sleeping in class and fooling around...... This kind of life for now is totally over..... Is time to get serious..... This is the last chance for me to change my life and future.... Form 6 is going to be a new challenge for me......

*Feel that I really have grown up...*

I need some time to "forget"....

To you I just a normal friend or someone who close to you but for me you is someone I really care so I don't want anything to change our friendships... I hope I can just maintain this kind of relationship.... I have wake up from my "dreams" so now is the time to end this "game"...... We are still friends for now and always will do....... In the deepest part in my heart you will be there..... I will always support you like the others and I hope there is a day that I can really put you down.... I know I can do it because the feeling towards you is getting lesser and lesser.... I think that time I make the judgement too fast.... We are close maybe because of faith...

That's all and that's it for this game....

I need a break... I want to quit this "game".....

Please give me a break...... WTF... I have no interested to know what happen between you two..... I really can't accept any "news" about you because I really can't pull out my heart from you..... I really hope to stop contact with you... Is true that I love you but I can't hide it from you anymore..... This secret is going to break soon.... I was too obvious... I am sorry... I was just a human beings who have blood and tears which have feelings..... I am not a stone..... I know it is not your fault but I really suffer..... I was the one who keep hurting myself..... Maybe this is my faith.... Always can't get the person you love and you care..... I shall give up everything but I really can't do that..... Every time I receive something from you even is just a message that you text me I will be very happy..... I will smile from heart but those smile just will be there around few seconds because I know you doesn't belongs to me and all the sweet words that we text each other is just a part of the "game" which I know it very clear..... I just don't want wake from this "sweet dreams".....

I really hope that this "game" never started..... Is all my fault....

Don't really think can leave you....

Don't know since when you have became my everything... Within one word you can make me neither laugh or cry..... I just found out that you already have took an important position in my heart...... I have thought I can make myself to put you dawn in these days... But I can't.... The feeling is stronger than I thought.... I really feel the pain when you told me about them..... I always tried to comfort myself to not make it too obvious until just now I totally lost myself..... Luckily I manage to pull my self out at the last minutes..... I really don't know when that I lost control and straight away tell you that " I Love You"....... Although we told each other many times but this time is true and I am not playing around.....

*Really don't hope got this day because I know that if this happens means our friendship is over....*

Yea staff party... 29/2/2012

Today is another day of our function which been invite by Mr.Joseph.... Is our staff party.... Is another wonderful day which another sweet memory of working days been added.... These were the picture that been taken on that day......

What a big family~~*Welcome to YEA*

Me + Zhen

Joey

Joey + Me <3

Place we have our meals.....

~*Another memory From YEA*~

Shout out loud~

I tried to keep it but I really can't control it anymore.... Grantz to you because you manage to steal my heart... I tried to treat you as my friend but so sorry I can't..... You always running inside my mind... I still remember at once you told me don't falling in love with you because we are just playing around and I told you sure don't worry I won't..... Actually is too late don't know why that time my feeling towards you are bot simple as friend.... *I think you feel that too right??? Because you remind me twice...* I also pretend nothing happen and treat you as friend but when you remind me once it hurt me.... I am not blaming you is just I can't stand it anymore...... This matter has cause trouble for me while working... I totally lost my focus and heart while working..... I thought no body will notice that what is going on with me but just now Mr Joseph talk to me personally... He told me that recently you seems as doesn't have heart for work.... What happen to you??? At that time I was totally blank and just keep smiling and keep silence..... Because I feel it too... Really hope today is a new day that can make me forget the feeling towards you..... = )

Hard to survive without friend...

Working days makes me tired but I really enjoy it.... Those makes me feeling sad is my colleague is leaving me one by one.... Just like a team and each of the members keep leaving the team and new members is coming in...... I don't mind to have new friend is just I always miss the one who already leaves.... The days that we get together might not long but there is always something that bring joy and happiness to me.... I just want to thanks everyone because left me many sweet and funny memories...... Lastly, thank you Yea.... ^_^

Annual dinner at Ming Garden....

The annual dinner is fun... Except the "show" part from me,Joey,Moh thing and several of us.... Most of the Yea staff are wearing blue because we discuss before the dinner is here.....

Joey + Joshua

Joey + me....

Joey + Kai hui

Zhen + me + Joey + Mr Megam

Joey + me...

Wai mun + Zhen + Matthew + Mike = Siao team... XD

What is the proper way???

I really hope I have the braveness to tell you every things but I don't because I scared I will lost this friendship...... So I don't want to take any risk..... Should I keep myself away from you??? I really worried that some days when I really can't control my emotion and shout it out..... Why is the god keep playing jokes on me??? (>.<")

Luckily I had a friend to share this matter otherwise I really will get crazy...... Thank you my dear friend...... =)

Cleaning before CNY at Yea

It is Wednesday and it should be my off day but all of us been call back to work for cleaning before CNY....... We are tired but I think we quite enjoy today because is the first time all of us playing water including our manager he is the one who start the game...... =.=" Anyways it is fun.... Working in Yea might be late and tired but we enjoy our working days....... Here is always full with happiness... Before we do the cleaning most of us change our clothes because is hard to cleaning when wearing long pants..... All change to short pants except the one that off day like me and Joey.... bluring.....
Is time to Mop~~~
Teddy Vs Zhen

There is some weird feeling that trapped in my heart...

I don't really know why these days my heart got a feeling that like have a big stone on it...... I feel hard to breath.... Got two of my friend told me that maybe I have liked someone just I didn't notice it...... Do I really liked someone???? Is that you??? I don't really know...... I just know that finally I can put someone else down and I don't want to "pick up" anyone now...... I feel so confuse now..... This matter interrupt me while I working and sleeping...... I really start to hate it..... Do anyone can save me?????? Argh!!!!!! T.T

Lost~~

So suddenly I feel that I lost myself..... The true me..... Since working I know that I am stepping into adult life but I just still didn't used to it... Really feel that adult life doesn't suitable for me..... Although I found many new friend at working but still lacking something.......

Maybe is because I still missing all my school friends.........

Happy New year~!!!

Year 2011 is over and 2012 is here... Today while we count down at Yea all of us just too high..... We feel happy for the new year... Most of us hug each other while the fireworks started..... We wish our customer along too especially Zhen the whole restaurant was full with her voice...... And also Wai Mun she is also one of it that "over high"...... She carried Fern up and keep turning around..... Is the first time that I found Whao... She was so strong..... I just regret that I can't take any picture during today because we are still on working time..... But I think today memories will stick in my mind till the rest of my life... (^.^)

Anyways I still wanna say... Happy New Year!!!!!!