April is here... Means my exam is near...

April is here... The first of April was the first day of school this year... Which is Monday.... Recently everyone in school is over stressed so am I... I don't really have time to sleep... Few hours of nap a day add on nightmare seems has become a package of my night... I need a rest... I always complain that holiday is bored and sucks but at this moment I really need a break... A long break.... I am so tired with my life that I can't see the ending... My trial examination is coming soon... If not mistaken is the day after tomorrow... Is really close... To me it is important but I don't have the energy to study anymore... I FED UP!!!
My head is damn dizzy and ache feels like going explode very soon...

I feel like dying everyday my body is without soul cause it is flooding around.... Feel like a zombie... My life goes the same everyday...

Friendship in this school sucks...
Is been a while I lock up myself...
So??
No one will notice...
No one will know...
No one will care....
This is me...

My March in 2013

March seems to be a new start for me.. In studies, friendship and also relationship... I being so lazy this semester like I always be and I don't know where should I go after this... My result are nothing but getting worse... I know studies is important to me but I rather watch television or stay online... Recently I chat back with someone who I stop chat with him long time ago... We now in a complicated relationship... >.<"
Sometimes I do hope that I can fixed everything.. But all is too late... I don't know why we always can't find the right timing... Haiz... The god just always playing with me... I really don't hope that we continue flirting but I don't think anything more than that is going to happen...

God please stop playing jokes on me... >.<"

Another crazy day with all my dearest friends..(13/2/2013)

Yesterday is the best day of me after my Pre-U life start... We have a really nice talk about most of the things that happen to us recently.. Of course most of them is facing a relationship right now... And another awkward moment that been face between me and Ying which is meeting someone which is important to our friend.. :D The first impression for me and Ying is.... She is cute and friendly... Hahaha... She totally stunk and her face is totally red... I think my friend will get from her... xD

The picture of the one who attend yesterday gathering and include me of course.. :D

Anyways... Happy Valentine's Day for everyone...

My PRE-U Senior Life

I have stepped in the second month of my Pre-U senior life... This moment is really tough for me... Pre-test from our teacher, homework, assignment like PBS...  This semester is really killing me but I still will face it... Semester 3 is still waiting for me... I won't lost this time.. I will make sure I score this semester and next semester... Although I don't really have confidence but I will try my best...

Besides of school life there is another thing that I have to split out from my heart which is...
I miss you so much...
How are you recently??
Is been a while we didn't text each other...
I am not trying to avoid you but... There is no point if I was the only one who keep text you... I don't want to  be someone who is annoying for you... I love you and I just want you be happy... That is the reason I decided to keep this as a secret from you... Maybe I was selfish but I don't want anything happen to interrupt this friendship... I just don't want you to feel unhappy...

And so far... Happy Chinese New Year for everyone...  All the best and all dreams may come true... ~~

Am I still me??

Recently I keep asking myself... Am I still me?? I feel that I am not me anymore... In school I have to be good to everyone although I dislike them... I quite fed up with this but still... Life has to go on... I am not saint I also will make mistake... Seriously friend... I hate the way you talk which is so FAKE... Not because you keep saying something unnecessary.... When I tell you something it means I believe you but I am wrong... I shouldn't tell you anything... I should keep everything in my heart... I really hope you can change your overact attitude... If for the previous me I will talk to you again and again until you understand but now I am sorry... I too tired to do that... I just want to pass my Pre-U senior live peacefully... I don't want been describe as someone who act pro again...

Final answer..

Finally I have the answer... You is still the one who trapped in my heart... Is it a good news?? Not really but I quite happy with it... I hope there is someone can replace you... Since there is no one so I don't mind you keep trapped here..(^.^) Basically I already used to it... To miss you every moment when you told me to do so previously... Seriously is really hard to forget someone who is so important in your life... You will be the one who will suddenly pops up and support me when I was really down and lost control... Thanks for helping me without I telling anything... **Hey you really quite good in observe.. =D**
I don't know how long this feeling will stay but start from today whenever I miss you I will write a letter for you... I wanted to know how long this feeling will stay in this coming year... Since it has been one year from the day I know you start tomorrow...

**This is the promise to myself : If I still can't manage to bring you out from my heart during next year Christmas... Maybe I will tell you everything...**

Anyways New Year is coming... Welcome 2013... :p

Another game start??

Last December is the month that I know you.... Which is also the month everything begin... We use to be so close at that moment but now I feel that we already far apart... For me like what I had said "everything that passed just let it be because life still have to go on"... From that day I tried to control myself about my feelings towards you but I failed.... So I face that feeling and admit that "I love you"... But now things seems change... Recently there is someone that bring me another strange feeling like you gave me.... I really hope that this is just an illusion because I don't want to face the same situation again and again... It's enough I am despair for it.... My heart is not that strong to accept but like what my friend had told me "We can't predict the future"... So now my mindset was let it be how it suppose to be... If god wanna prank me again and again... I just have to accept it because this is my life...

*But still I hope this is an illusion... We are just friend... :)*