Totally different from others....

Seriously I do believe that everything happens have a reason behind it... Why would someone like me become so anxious to a place that called house??? Seriously I don't really think I had a home... A "house" is the things that I only had... A place to sleep and keep myself warm... I been thinking this question since long time ago but I can't found the answer...

Well I don't mean to disgrace my family but I really enjoy school life more than house... In school at least I feel been respect and appreciated by others... In house no matter what I did... How hard I tried you all won't see my effort you just think I am playing around while I am working hard... Until today I still remember during the day I get my UPSR results... I get 3A's and 2B's from 5 subjects... Among all my friend my result are counted as moderate but what I get in the end of the day?? Present? An encourage?? Nope... Nothing but cane... After that horrible experience I am giving up myself... Since entered secondary I don't really study with heart... While I in the third year in secondary is all too late... There is many things I can't catch up but I know I have to because PMR examination is waiting for me...

PMR ends... So does my brother who finished his UPSR on the same year... His results not really good as I am... He just get an A and the rest all are B's... Instead of cane he got reward and praise from my parents... At that moment I know no matter how many effort that I put is also not going to match my siblings... As elders I can't even scold my younger siblings and my brother can... Ya... This is my family... No matter what I did is always wrong... 

I am someone who really lack of confidence but somehow I always found myself useful in friendship... I am someone who willing to scarified myself for friendship until my true friend are no longer by my side... I am not god but I hope everyone around me can be happy when I was around and continue living with a happy mood... I may looks myself too important to everyone but I don't really hope there is another person who have a heart like me...

*Is this my problems??* If you hate me go ahead because I don't give a shit anymore...     

June.... Story

Finally I have time to blogging... I am facing a busy period of studies... All my assignment come one shot... Too many things have to handle in one shot... Besides school, there is plenty of stuff that I have to handle... Which is my school Sport's Day.... I suddenly became leader for cheerleading group while Sport's Day is few days apart... Handle this stuff is killing me...  PBS this semester most are teamwork style... Actually I prefer to do it all alone... Except economic of course... =.=" Studies really bring a lot of stress for me which I don't think I can handle it properly... In the same time parents... Haiz.. They just can't give me a break... I really tired....

Few days ago Pn.Syaeedah asked me in front of class "Chin Wei, what happen to you recently?? You look so sad... " In that moment I was shocked... I wish I could tell her everything until someone ruined everything by saying nonsense to teacher... The most disappointed matter is non even one of my classmate ask me what happen on me.... Hahaha...  Funny right??  What kind of friends that I having in school??? No idea... All are just faker... I am such a failure... I always tell others to be happy but I was the one who wearing mask... I was the one who hiding myself....

Recently I keep talking to a special friend or should I say my sister?? :)
Bonnie Voon... Seriously she is a nice girl... She makes me feel better when I in a bad mood...
Although I know no one is going to read my blog but I decided to update it at least once a month...

*I do really hope there is true friend in this world... haiz...*